This I Know
"Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so." Ok, so I
might be filled with doubt, regret, shame and all sorts of other
pain. God loves me. He knows all of my sins and transgressions. He
knows when Iíve lied and cheated, and He knows all the times Iíve
broken the commandments, one by one. "The Bible tells me so."
Psalm 139:1, 16(NLT) O Lord you have examined my heart and know
everything about meÖYou saw me before I was born. Everyday of my
life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a
single day had passed. He gave me life. He knows me to the core
and beyond and still He loves me.
So, what did I do? Well, I went off in search, in search of love
and acceptance; I just wanted to fit in. I went to find myself. Now
in that search I found something, alright. I found pain. I found an
open grave and bit by bit I tried to fill it with myself. It wasnít
an easy task; no it took years and years. I poured myself a drink of
sorrow a shot of misery. I took a pill of self deceit. I smoked a
bowl of self condemnation. I lay down with Satan. I consorted and
frolicked with his demons. It was all so very enticing. The music
was wildly exhilarating. I was aroused by the promise of an empty
grave disguised by neon lights and the glitter of foolís gold. Its
penetrating darkness was illuminated by an illusion. The laughter
and the music, the tinkling of glasses coming together in the guise
of celebration; I had arrived.
This pretense went on for quite sometime. Till one day in a
moment of clarity I saw a light shine down into this grave. All
about me were bones, filth, human waste, rats and vultures gnawing
on rotting flesh. The lie was then formed in my mind, ingrained
deeply. For me there was no way out. I had purchased this ticket on
the train of doom and this is where Iíd remain for all my life. I
went about to make this lifeís ride as pain free as I could, ever
digging the grave deeper. I drank and drugged and used others simply
in the name of survival. I knew no way out. 2 Samuel 14:14 All
must die eventually. Our lives are like spilled water on the ground,
which cannot be gathered up again. But God does not just sweep
life away: instead He devises ways to bring us back when we have
been separated from Him. He loved me all the while .He created me,
knew me and loved me. Psalms 139:8 If I go up to heaven you are
there if I go down to the grave you are there.
Romans 8:35-37(NLT) Can anything ever separate us from Christís
love? Does it mean He no longer loves us if we have trouble or
calamity or are persecuted or hungry or destitute or in danger
threatened by death? (As the Scriptures say, "For your sake we are
killed every day we are being slaughtered like sheep.") No despite
all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ who
loved us. His love picked me up out of the grave. He let me know
that, yes, indeed I am a sinner and yes the wages of sin is death!
But through Christ Jesus I can have life everlasting.
I cried out one day because I was beaten, battered and bruised;
my wounds ran deep as the rivers. I was destitute; my body, mind and
soul where soiled. I had consorted with all sorts of evil and the
enemy had defeated me. But Godís Grace and His mighty love saved me.
All I had to do was ask for help. "God help me!" That was my prayer;
simple yet all so profound. My cry for help was heard through the
dimensions straight to Godís ears. Out of all the billions of
people, God heard my small voice. I was all alone and He heard me.
He supernaturally transformed this sinful wretch. He had a plan
already devised for the salivation of my soul. He had sent His only
begotten son to be born of a virgin to die on the cross to unlock
the gates of hell and redeem the key of life for me. He ascended
into heaven and filled the universe with Himself. He did all of this
because He loved me.
He loves me, "...for the Bible tells me so. Little ones to Him
belong! They are weak but he is strong. Yes, Jesus loves me. The
Bible tells me so."
I tell this simply because God's amazing love saved me. I was
very toxic in my learned behavior. At twelve I set off in the world,
alone. I learned how to fit in with drugs and alcohol. I survived
financially through topless dancing and by thirteen I had graduated
to prostitution. By sixteen I had my first child, by seventeen I was
married and had three more babies. That isnít the end of my story.
No, by twenty-one I was divorced. I divorced my husband and married
king alcohol. I lost my children and went right back to what I knew;
back to the houses in Nevada. By thirty-three I thought Iíd leave
that life for a cleaner life-style, bartending. Iím forty-eight
today. I carried the weight of that life-style till I was forty-six;
when alcoholism finally beat me and God intervened. You may be
sitting somewhere by yourself thinking thereís no hope. But Iím here
to shout it from the roof tops; there is hope!
Today, I have that peace that surpasses all understanding.
Today, Iím not alone. Every day isnít perfect, no, and it never
will be while I still reside on planet earth.
But today, I have a God of my own understanding. The really
exciting thing is that my understanding grows daily. Itís better
than money in the bank. So you see there is no reason to continue in
a life filled with pain, despair and anguish. Jesus came to save me
and you. He sits and waits for you to say, ďCome in and save me from
eternal death.Ē Jesus came so that you and I can live with him
forever in heaven. Jesus came to save wretches like us. If it
can happen for me it can happen for you, too. Jesus really does love
Michele serves as Holy Hands Minister of
the Word and is a candidate for ordination. She fills
the pulpit when the Pastor is unavailable and is a guest speaker
in various Christian venues
If you would like to contact
Michele, click her name.